Stress

So remember how I told you that my sister was living with me? Well today, after constantly warning her ever since she moved in, I had to kick her out. And she had the audacity to tell me that her friends were going to come over to my house and help her get her stuff. Mind you she did not ask me she flat out just told me that her friends were going to come onto my property to get her stuff… does that make any sense to you? Because it makes absolutely no sense to me. Especially since I know she was raised a hell of a lot better than that.

Then I have to take off tomorrow at work because of the stupid bullshit. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem because my husband would be able to come home on lunch to be at the house to watch our property but since he’s gone for an entire week for military training; that leaves the responsibility to me to deal with. I hate this because the one time he’s gone for military training is the one time drama like this happens and for whatever reason he’s not allowed to have a cell phone during this one training whereas all the other trainings he was allowed to have a cell phone. This is just my luck the one time he’s not allowed to have a cell phone is the one time all shit hits the fan and I have no one to talk to.

All of this is on top of a half-day that I took at work today because we only had two patients and absolutely no phone calls. So I was just sitting there all day doing nothing. I figured leaving and going home instead of costing the hospital more money was a wiser decision then just sitting there earning money for doing nothing. I’m sorry but I just do not believe in getting paid to do nothing. So when I have no patient to room or phone calls to answer or get back to you, I literally have nothing to do for work. Which sucks because whenever there is nothing to do there really is no reason for me to even be there. Talk about putting my job in jeopardy. That and I’m still in my 90 days so they could fire me for any given reason at this point, and I secretly feel like I’ve given him a few reasons to fire me as it is. I just hope I can make it to the middle of August when my fall semester of graduate school starts (since I dropped the summer semester) because once financial aid hits, I’ll be fine. If anything happens before then I’m pretty much screwed.

The worst part of this is that I know it’s going to create animosity between me and my sister which I did not wanna have any part of. I am angry with my sister because she caused this to happen by being stupid. But I am also sad because she caused this to happen it’s like she did not have enough respect for me to cause the situation to be better. If she even had a little bit of respect for me we never would’ve had to warn her all of the times that we did for her to stop doing what she was doing. We even had her sit down and have a discussion with us about all of the things that she was not doing that we agreed to, and we had her sign and date it. I’ve kept all of the text messages from her where she is telling me how certain things are going to go regarding my property. It just makes absolutely no sense to me because she was raised better than that I have no idea where any of this is coming from, from her. It’s almost like she’s lost her damn mind.

Yeah I only have three patients to room tomorrow at work but I already missed Monday of last week because of a migraine and then I took a half-day today because of a low census with patients. I really don’t want to have to miss anymore work especially since I have the trip to Washington DC coming up and I need all of the PTO I can get. I’ve already bought the plane tickets for the trip so it’s really going to suck if I don’t have enough PTO to even take the vacation. Then let’s not forget the important point that I am still in my 90 days and have already missed a few days of work because of either illness or drama like I’m going to be missing tomorrow.

I also hate that I have no friends to talk to you when something bad happens. It’s like it’s just me, myself, and I went all shit hits the fan. Why can’t stupid shit like this happen when my husband is home? Even when he was deployed stupid shit like this happened and he wasn’t here to fix it or help it be better. It’s like everything decides to fall apart when he’s not available. And then since he’s my only friend, he’s the only one I can talk to you when something bothers me. The people that are “available” don’t hardly ever answer their cell phones so it’s almost like they’re not even really there…

I just hate this situation that I’m in and I wholeheartedly blame my sister for causing it. She has cost me so much unnecessary stress, she has caused so much unnecessary drama, and she has started so much unnecessary anxiety with me… and the worst part is that she doesn’t even know she’s doing it. She doesn’t see the side of her sister or her dad that she stressing out. All she sees is the handout she gets from people, and the free rides… she’s just a parasite. Maybe that’s how I need to start seeing her, instead of seeing her as my sister, maybe I need to just start seeing her as a parasite that she is.

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