Rambles

I know, I know I’m going to talk about the controversial topic of sex. Many people are uncomfortable about talking about it but why? Sex is natural. Sex is innate. It’s a God given right. My point is that sex should not be so taboo. Since almost everyone does it. Even the monks and nuns do it (in private).

I just wanted to take a moment and talk about my sex life.

Which is that it seems to be really really good when I am drinking. There seems to be no problems. But when Im not drinking, there are problems. Like, I don’t want to have any part of it. There’s obviously some psychology behind it. Un-Inebriated, me and my husband have sex, maybe, once or twice a month. Inebriated, we have sex whenever the occasion arises – which could be every single time. Let’s get something straight. I drink a lot. I drink to escape reality and it really works for me no matter how much my “normal” self seems to think that “I wont do it again” or “I’m completely done with it”. Alcohol fixes things or at least it makes them go away. I’ve been drinking as I’ve been writing this which may seem to some as “not in the right state of mind” but… come on, what is the right state of mind? My subconscious is me. Pure and simple. All of the beauty and ugliness collide. Instead of some washed up version of myself on censor.

Well, this is my blog, with the exception of sharing it with my bff since middle school so why can’t I write about my deepest and darkest fears? I have an immense fear of failure. In anything. Which makes me a highly competitive person.  I don’t know where it comes from, it’s just a part of me. So, while I sit drinking a bottle of the finest Scotch known to man, my inner soul comes out like I was just drinking from a truth serum.

Anyway, my sex life is good. It’s healthy and encouraging just the way that it should be. So even if I want to kill myself most days, at least I have that.

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