decisions

I have made the conscious decision to stop drinking all alcohol and to stop abusing all medications, even OTC medications. I have been spiraling and spiraling and the worst just keeps making the worst, worse. I used to not have so much anxiety until I started abusing my anxiety medications in an attempt to not feel any emotions. Then I started having anxiety attacks like freaking crazy! This has to stop and it stops now.

I am already a slave to coffee, I was a slave to alcohol too but not anymore. It stops now.

Like I’ve said before, I need to feel my emotions because emotions are what make us human. It’s what makes us tough and soft all at the same time. Too many people nowadays lack emotion or they lack the PROPER emotion, living an “elitist” type life and I don’t want to live like that. Just like in my blog post that I posted about “Raw”, you know, it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. And I loved 3 times; in 3 totally different ways with 3 different people on 3 totally different levels. That is a blessings. Love is a blessing, plain and simple. At least I’m not adding people to a “Hate List” or racking up enemies. I open up my heart to people and fall in love. It is a curse, yes, because of the emotions that come along with that but to be able to even feel  that, that is a blessing.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear.”

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