Anxiety

If there is someone I know with severe anxiety, it’s me. And it’s gotten worse since I recently got two new jobs. One job is pretty slow, or rather, I should say like a roller coaster. One day will be super slow where we only have 4 patients and a handful of calls whereas another day we’ll have 11 patients and the phone will not stop ringing. Today, for example, we have 6 patients, I think the entire 4 hours that I have been to work, I have gotten 2 calls and both were from the same patient; just calling twice. And my second job is just “As Needed” so I never really know from one week to the next when “I will be needed”.

My point is, on these slow days, my anxiety goes CRAZY. And I know what that is, it’s because I have too much time to think. I need to be doing something that keeps my mind busy while also making it look like I have stuff to be working on (when I actually do not).

So, I write. I can’t do too many things in one day, you see, because if I do, then I won’t have anything else to work on for the rest of the week. For example, on Thursday’s we generally only have 2 patients and they’re after 1pm. So, from 8AM-1pm, with the exception on the phone ringing… I do not have anything to do. And that’s where Thursdays become my “catch up” days. You know, where you work up charts for patients that you plan to see in the future. Doing that, lets you get your research in on their healthcare before you see them. Any good doctors office will “work up their charts” because it gets you ahead of the game and knocks out a couple steps for when the patient is actually in office. That’s what I do on Thursday’s, I work up the charts for all of the next week and that takes a whole of maybe an hour and a half. So I have another three hours to get twiddle my thumbs.

In the meanwhile, I have asked to talk to my director (my boss) about my hours because I do not believe this position requires a full-time presence. Maybe on some days. Like tomorrow when we have 11 patients or on Friday, when the lady how usually answers the phones, isn’t going to be here. But any ordinary day, this position does not require a full-time position. The 2-3 calls I would get in the afternoon (say I cut my hours where I leave at 2:30 instead of 4:30) can be answered that next morning (that or if it’s an emergency, the patient should be going to the emergency room as it is).

It’s just that I like this job. Its easy. It’s not too terribly demanding but I am bored. I wish I could bring in a few notebooks so I can work on my stories while I’m at work much like what I’m doing right now. Because at least that will keep my mind busy.

Anyway, to be continued…

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